Top 12 search strings for….Two Clowns Tripping?

You may not realise, but the WordPress blogging platform actually gives blog owners the ability to see how visitors arrive at a particular blog.

Most are quite innocent. Facebook links, Urbanspoon recommendations, forum links, etc…

But when it comes to Google searches, there’s gold in them thar hills!!

Frequently mundane, to the point of utilitarian, but every now and again I come across an absolute cracker, predominantly with a porn bent!

And so I present to you, the Top 12 search strings that led an unsuspecting internet user to Two Clowns Tripping!

12. what is an arm in sailing

It’s that thing holding the bucket over which you’re miserably hunched, wretchedly counting down the hours, minutes and seconds until you’re back on dry land!

11. suck toe

Someone looking for the Association of Australian Contortionists? I hope so, but I doubt it.

10. does water spray from a bidet make a mess

Nothing wrong with this one, but funny nonetheless! I too was very unsure about bidets before visiting Japan. Even now I’m still apprehensive when pressing a label-less button on a foreign bidet! Who knows what piece of delicate flesh is about to get poked, sprayed, or pierced by a jet stream of cold water?! For my own experience (yes I did blog it!) click here!

9. you made me feel, make me feel, me wah come

lol, wut? Bad karaoke? I’m at a loss. Cool lyrics though.

8. Porn Cambodia

If it was Thailand I might be sympathetic, as ‘porn’ actually means ‘blessing’. I’ll chalk this one up to geographic confusion.

7. Japan onsen nudity

Putting on my rose tinted glasses, this one I can kind of understand. There’s a certain apprehension felt by every westerner before they step nakedly through the doors of a Japanese onsen for the very first time (if you care to, you can read more about my own experience here).

6. Naked blokes

Rose tinted glasses aren’t enough this time…

5. Video Japan nude bathing

Now we’re getting specific. Not only do they want to get some nude bathing action, but they’d also like it to be presented in the form of a video! Your wish is my command!

4. Cod sperm Japan

I choose to believe that this internet user is simply a sushi connoisseur of the highest order. Anything else would make me a little queasy…kind of like that time when I actually tasted cod sperm

3. Sperm surprise

Evoking unwanted comparisons to grandma’s tastiest home-cooked ‘tuna surprise’, who really wants to be surprised by sperm…? Anyone…? No takers…? I thought so.

2. Horse tripping porn

Are you serious?!! I mean, sure…I understand there are some pretty odd fetishes out there…but ‘horse tripping’? Sounds painful, and illegal!!

1. funny electrical engineer

Not surprising they landed on my page, because they don’t exist 😀







Looking for more…? Let’s just say that in writing/researching this article I came across the term ‘blumpkin’ for the first time.

Don’t Google it.